December 18, 2015

Student 1- "Let's play monopoly."
Student 2- "What version do you want to play? Deluxe? Classic?"
Student 1- "I don't know, I've only ever played the Mexican version."
Student 2- "What is that like steal your car and TV, then mow your lawn version?"

Student 1- "Women are expensive!"
Me- "Just wait, it gets worse."
Student 1- "When they start wanting cars, jewels and all that crap?"
Student 2- "And that child support!"

December 16, 2015

"It punctured my anus!"

December 11, 2015

A question asked when our SRO was in class guest speaking:
Student 1- "Have you ever busted a meth lab?"
Student 2- "This is Blacksburg, not Christiansburg!"

December 8, 2015

"I'm Italian, Lebanese and a little bit of redneck."

December 7, 2015

"ISIS! They can come to my house because I tweet so much shit about them!"

"Fun things are not always legal."

December 2, 2015

"Because gettin' out there and just peein' everywhere is my favorite thing."

November 19, 2015

"It's thirsty thalamus Thursday!"

"People will always use alcohol, its always been around since like Jesus!"

November 17, 2015

"Brown everything is good!"

November 16, 2015

"No one shits vanilla!"

October 23, 2015

"Broken rubber brought me into this world, it ain't taking me out!" (we were talking about bungee jumping)

October 12, 2015

"Books are like brain food and I ain't even hungry in there."

September 29, 2015

"For the longest time I thought Golden Corral was a gay bar."

September 22, 2015

"If it ain't in America, then I don't care!"

September 21, 2015

"I'm 0% confused, these are just incompetent fools!"

"How do merpeople have babies?"

September 16, 2015

"If they wrote it down, I ain't reading it!"

September 1, 2015

"I woke up this morning and I felt like I could just eat a tiger. I'm not even lion right now."

April 23, 2015

"I'm mature, I'm just stupid!"

"Mr. Marx as in Karl? Wasn't he an artist?"

April 17, 2015

"Ms. Stevens, I didn't even poop in your class today!"