December 20, 2012

"Hugs are so erotic!"

December 19, 2012

"I used to spend hours reading on the toilet. I mean, think about it- no one is going to disturb you!"

"Oh my gosh! The clear ones are soooo good!"

Me- "Department of Agriculture?"
Student- "Ball-sack! Thomas Vilsack"
Me- "I think more of a sack of potatoes!"
Student- "But ball-sack is so much more memorable!"

December 18, 2012

"Watch me destroy you in Balls with Friends!"

"I love the F word! There are so many uses for it! It is a noun, a verb, an adjective, everything!"

"Balls with Friends is not doing it for me right now!"

December 12, 2012

"Why do we need to know about Andrew Jackson? Because he murdered someone in the face?!?"

December 7, 2012

"Were there really pearls in that harbor? Maybe that's why they are extinct now!"

"It's way easier for girls to keep it in their pants than guys!"

"Put it in my mouth!"

December 6, 2012

"I forget you're a girl sometimes and I punch you really hard!"

"I hate these things! They are too hard!"

"Ohh! Velcro pockets, I like that!"