September 29, 2015

"For the longest time I thought Golden Corral was a gay bar."

September 22, 2015

"If it ain't in America, then I don't care!"

September 21, 2015

"I'm 0% confused, these are just incompetent fools!"

"How do merpeople have babies?"

September 16, 2015

"If they wrote it down, I ain't reading it!"

September 1, 2015

"I woke up this morning and I felt like I could just eat a tiger. I'm not even lion right now."