December 18, 2015

Student 1- "Let's play monopoly."
Student 2- "What version do you want to play? Deluxe? Classic?"
Student 1- "I don't know, I've only ever played the Mexican version."
Student 2- "What is that like steal your car and TV, then mow your lawn version?"

Student 1- "Women are expensive!"
Me- "Just wait, it gets worse."
Student 1- "When they start wanting cars, jewels and all that crap?"
Student 2- "And that child support!"

December 16, 2015

"It punctured my anus!"

December 11, 2015

A question asked when our SRO was in class guest speaking:
Student 1- "Have you ever busted a meth lab?"
Student 2- "This is Blacksburg, not Christiansburg!"

December 8, 2015

"I'm Italian, Lebanese and a little bit of redneck."

December 7, 2015

"ISIS! They can come to my house because I tweet so much shit about them!"

"Fun things are not always legal."

December 2, 2015

"Because gettin' out there and just peein' everywhere is my favorite thing."

November 19, 2015

"It's thirsty thalamus Thursday!"

"People will always use alcohol, its always been around since like Jesus!"