Friday, November 8, 2013

November 8, 2013

"Look how big your Jesus's nipples are!"

"Very unknown fact about Jesus: his right hand was smaller than his left." 

"You just ripped up Jesus!"

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Thursday, October 3, 2013

October 3, 2013

"I just hate how the internet gives us so much worthless sh*t!"

"Paraguay is the Detroit of the world!"

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

September 24, 2013

"My name is Jonah and my favorite book is 50 Shades of Grey." 

"I need lotion, my thumb is dry!"

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

May 14, 2013

"I've been on the blog like 100 times for the funny sh*t I say!"

"I wish I had boobs... But really!"

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

May 7, 2013

"Why do we live in a state that won't let us hit them?" -a teacher

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

April 30, 2013

"Did you just flex your pec at me!"

"That's dang bad!"

"That's not his finger- it's HUGE!"

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

April 24, 2013

This happened during a presentation, in government, today... What the what?!?

Thursday, April 18, 2013

April 18, 2013

"The pelican said, 'excuse Randy Scott about quietly tripping!' Buddha dealt the liquor gladly, black guy!"

"For the record, this is the most delicious thing I've ever put inside of me. And I've put A LOOOOT of things inside of me!"

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

April 17, 2013

"Pigs are vicious!"

Student 1- "I'm hot!"
Student 2- "I would agree but you have a boyfriend!"

Friday, April 12, 2013

April 12, 2013

"I'm gonna have to be at school so I may as well argue with stupider people."

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

April 9, 2013

"Is your grandmother a witch?"

Student 1- "She's dating a black kid from Christiansburg."
Student 2- "Pshhh... Another one bites the dust!"

Monday, April 8, 2013

April 8, 2013

"I want to build skate boards and live in Honolulu... Texas!"

"Ask a sophomore, they won't say no!"

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

April 3, 2013

Student 1- "Lindsey, your test is not going to do itself!"
Student 2- "Why not, I do myself all the time!"

Student 1 (boy)- "You're full of crap!"
Student 2 (girl)- "No I'm not, I pooped last night!"

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

April 2, 2013

"We have 31 days of school left, why are we still learning?"

"My uncle is a gay and I hate him! Not because he's a gay, because he's a douche!"

"What color is green?"

"I have the bladder of a 5 year-old lately!"

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

March 26, 2013

"He will have one emotion and then he will die! The life of an African is... Born- hungry- die!"

Student 1- "Thats racist!"
Student 2- "Thats not racist, there's white people in Africa too!"

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

March 20, 2013

"If you judge people in Goodwill, I think you're automatically going to hell!"

Monday, March 18, 2013

March 18, 2013

"I'm trying to get Healthcare passed and all this Congress cares about is Ron Paul's birthday party next weekend!"
-student talking about Sequester and gridlock...

Friday, March 15, 2013

March 15, 2013

"What the brown?
Let's go to brown town
If we don't, I'll frown.
I resemble a clown
Sometimes I look down
At a fat brown gown."

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

February 27, 2013

"I don't have enough money to buy cherries!"

"I make my dad buy them for me!"

Saturday, February 23, 2013

February 23, 2013

"What do they do with their holes? They have to do something with them!"

Friday, February 22, 2013

February 22, 2013

"I did this for you because I know you don't like it when I lick stuff off the top!"

"When you're on the floor, sometimes it just feels NICE!"

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

February 19, 2013

"It's like a scary movie out there, you don't even know!" (referring to kids making out in the halls)

Friday, February 15, 2013

February 15, 2013

Student 1- "What country was the biggest crocodile found in?"
Student 2- "Florida!"

Thursday, February 7, 2013

February 7, 2013

"I like them all! Jesus and anything that rhymes with it! Cheez-its!"

"I wasn't born in a house, that's GROSS!"

"I tell genuinely funny jokes that my be a little sexist!"

"Sometimes my butt tingles when I'm excited."

"Sometimes if I'm in a handshake and they rub their finger on my palm, my butt clenches up!"

"You're just mad because I got you to say cock!"

Monday, February 4, 2013

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Monday, January 28, 2013

January 28, 2013

Student 1-"He had a lot of slaves!" (Talking about James Madison)
Student 2- "So what am I supposed to do, bring in a bunch of black people?!?"

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

January 23, 2013

"I honestly don't want to tell him that it hurts. If I tell him, he will touch it and if he touches it, it will hurt!"

"It's George freaking Washington!"

Thursday, January 17, 2013