September 9th, 2011

"Can you make a penis out of a vagina? Is it really possible?" -talking about Chaz Bono and his/her appearance on Dancing with the Stars

"That's more like Lady Gag Gag!"

"I was supposed to be drawing the White House and then I realized I was actually drawing the Lincoln Memorial!"

Me- "It is a lady's name!"
Student- "Franklin!"

September 6th, 2011

"They are a non-profit organization... with missiles!" (talking about Hezbollah)

"Black and the beanstalk!"

"Black people go hands up!"

Student 1- "What does castrate mean?"
Student 2- "To cut off your doodles!"

"Dude, I was at dinner last night and there was a guy with no arms... at a sushi restaurant!"

September 2nd, 2011

"It's Roanoke, where else do people get killed around here?"

September 1st, 2011

"Have you not seen the Cheez It commercials? There is a wheel of cheese in every cracker!"

"If I see them tomorrow, I'm having eyeball soup!"

"I hate being on my knees!"