December 18, 2015

Student 1- "Let's play monopoly."
Student 2- "What version do you want to play? Deluxe? Classic?"
Student 1- "I don't know, I've only ever played the Mexican version."
Student 2- "What is that like steal your car and TV, then mow your lawn version?"

Student 1- "Women are expensive!"
Me- "Just wait, it gets worse."
Student 1- "When they start wanting cars, jewels and all that crap?"
Student 2- "And that child support!"

December 16, 2015

"It punctured my anus!"

December 11, 2015

A question asked when our SRO was in class guest speaking:
Student 1- "Have you ever busted a meth lab?"
Student 2- "This is Blacksburg, not Christiansburg!"

December 8, 2015

"I'm Italian, Lebanese and a little bit of redneck."

December 7, 2015

"ISIS! They can come to my house because I tweet so much shit about them!"

"Fun things are not always legal."

December 2, 2015

"Because gettin' out there and just peein' everywhere is my favorite thing."